Cases of mental abuse by spouses are quite common, but very few come to light. Victims of such abuse continue suffering as they have no idea what to do or where to go. Sometimes, the victim is unaware that they are being mentally tortured; they just keep living with it.
This think-piece has all the signs that show you are being mentally abused and actions that will help you get out of this situation. So, let’s check the red flags first.
- Your partner shame you for being yourself
If you find your spouse often shaming you for liking certain things or enjoying a holiday or anything, it is a tell-tale sign that your partner is abusing you.
This is because it makes you feel wrong for having a unique personality or a little me-time. Your partner might also target your insecurities to prove their claim.
- He or she controls your daily routine
Do you sometimes feel you need your partner’s permission to breathe? Then your spouse is controlling you.
For example, your partner always imposes their opinions without considering your desires, or they decide who you can talk to and who you must avoid, etc.
- They play the blame game
If your partner plays the blame game whenever you try to confront him or her, then yes, your partner is abusing you. Your spouse might also start blaming you for other people’s reactions or behaviors.
Further, if they back it up by saying, “I did that because you made me angry,” it’s a sure-shot indicator that your spouse is gaslighting you.
- Your partner yells to prove his/her point
Every human has a point of tolerance. Once someone crosses the limit, it’s normal to lose their mind. While occasional outbursts are normal, yelling daily is a sign of abuse.
Especially if your partner yells, knowing that you are scared of it, or they don’t stop even after seeing you afraid – it is a clear sign of power imbalance.
- Your spouse criticizes you brutally
There are two types of criticism, one is brutal, and the other is constructive. In case your spouse criticizes you brutally, he/she is mentally abusing you. It is not normal to say cruel things to your partner regularly.
This just shows that your partner neither respects you nor cares for you.
- You always feel you need to defend yourself
If you constantly feel you have to protect yourself against your partner, it’s a sign that the communication between you two is terrible.
In every relationship, both partners should have a space to discuss their issues and resolve them. But if you feel like you’re in a war whenever you share your issues, then it signals that your spouse is mentally abusing you.
- Your partner humiliates you in front of everyone
In a healthy relationship, partners protect one another from external and internal humiliation. But if your spouse constantly embarrasses you in front of your friends or disgraces you in public often, it indicates that he or she is emotionally abusive.
If you have been in any such situation, it’s time to understand what actions you can take against your partner.
- Don’t involve yourself in the argument
You can never reason with an abusive person; they will not go down to the root cause. Instead, your spouse will end up blaming you or giving you silent treatment. So don’t involve yourself in these petty arguments.
- Set strong boundaries
Tell your partner that you will not deal with him or her anymore. If this enrages your spouse more, leave the room or house. Instead, go for a walk or do other household chores.
This shows your partner that you are setting boundaries and will not take any of his or her abusive behaviors.
- Take help from the law
Most victims think that their abuser will change, so they keep on taking couple therapy. But you must understand you cannot transform an abusive person into a normal empathic person. Also, mental abuse, sooner or later, always ends up in a physical one.
So run and save yourself from this misery. Don’t forget to hire a lawyer, as your spouse might try to get you back using the police.
Recently one of my friends receding in Australia left her abusive husband with the help of Gold Coast lawyers. They helped her in the entire process like a guardian, and eventually, she emerged as a winner.
Over to you…
Everyone has a right to live according to their wish as long they are not hurting anyone. It should be the same for you. Don’t compromise with mental abuse, as it will only destroy you.